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And they can look at us and see that they can achieve their sexual dreams, they can be kinky or polyamorous or play with gender, and still reach a healthy happy old age.Ĭan you explain your work about vaginas on the book The Portal? Your interest lies in the fact that it is a taboo to speak of vaginas, prejudice women in touching them and knowing little about the vagina? So I think a lot of people think of us as sort of their kinky slutty fairy godmothers, the older mentors that their moms and grandmoms can’t be for them. Dossie’s in her seventies and I’m about to turn sixty – we’re both old enough to be the grandmothers of many of the people who read our books. I think part of the reason Dossie and I can help people is because we’re not young or rich or good-looking or any of the popular stereotypes about sexually liberated people.
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What has been the practical result of people learning about your vision of a free sexual life with multiple partners? There is still a long way to go in the discussion about polyamory and respect for this way of being in life? And the alternative sex? The role you had and have is very important for having published this book. Because writing is a very solitary pursuit, this kind of feedback is hugely important to me – without that sort of support, it would be very difficult to keep sitting at the keyboard cranking out books. There isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t get letters from people telling us how important my books have been in helping them feel okay about their desires.
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That’s led to much greater visibility for polyamorous and non-monogamous people – to phenomena like the Newsweek cover story a year or two ago, and the reality series featuring a long-term triad, and so on.ĭo you believe that, with this and your other books, was able to help many people to open their horizons and live their sexuality without fear and with respect? Our book is part of that, of course, but I think it has a lot more to do with the Internet – now people who are interested in alternatives to traditional monogamy have ways to find each other, to compare their experiences and share their wisdom. There’s been a huge change in attitude since we published the first edition of The Ethical Slut back in 1997. This book attempts to break the idea that anyone who has more than one person is not a bitch/bastard, given the profoundly monogamous society? You can break up this prejudice, label? But when it matters is when someone who has been abused during BDSM is afraid to go to the police because they’re afraid nobody will take their complaint seriously, or when someone loses their job or custody of their children because the courts don’t understand the difference between abuse and consensual BDSM.Īlong with Dossie Easton created The Ethical Slut. It doesn’t really matter much how people feel privately about BDSM they can be prejudiced against it or not, and if they don’t like it, then they don’t have to do it. There’s a lot less prejudice than there used to be – especially among younger people – but we still have a long way to go. It passed six years since the making of this film, in general considers that there has been progress in the elimination of prejudices? None of us who were interviewed look much like the heartless sadists or cringing masochists many people imagine – and that’s because, in 30-plus years in the BDSM scene, I’ve never met anyone who is much like those stereotypes.
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I think people who saw the movie definitely learned a lot about how real-world BDSM practitioners are far more varied and ethical than the stereotypes would indicate. Sometimes I stay the night depending on what your plans are for the next day.Through your BDSM movie : Its Not What You Think, can you managed to break many stigmas and stereotypes ? And the general public saw the BDSM with different eyes ? I am good to stay with you until about 9pm when I have to think about travelling back so I get home safe. I am in no rush when we meet and I do prefer to stay at least 3 or 4 hours. This is so that I can give you a fair service because we can have all evening at the hotel.
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When I am going on a hotel out call I do prefer to meet in the afternoon between 4 and 6pm. Its best to let me know by midday that you are wanting to arrange a hotel out call. I do travel using the trains so out call bookings need to be planned beforehand. Last minute hotel out calls are inadvisable especially if out of Bradford. I don't often meet customers after 9pm unless I know you well through previous meets. When you are coming over to meet me for an in call at my place it is best to meet between 9am and 9pm. I have a good time with the people that I meet. DaleBradford 28: I am more of a homeboy I am very happy and fulfilled with my escort work.